


the world according to baby pear

by fiveandhisaxe



Series: Everybody Lives & Nobody Dies [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV), The Umbrella Academy (TV) RPF
Genre: Adoption, Aged-Up Number Five | The Boy, Allison is a mom, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Aunts & Uncles, Ben is a Dad, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diego is a Dad, F/M, Five is a Dad, Five is the same age as the others, Foster Care, Kid Fic, Klaus is a dad, Luther is a Dad, M/M, Multi, One Big Happy Family, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, THE HARGREEVES ALL HAVE CHILDREN, THE HARGREEVES ARE ALL ADULTS, Vanya is a Mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26284621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveandhisaxe/pseuds/fiveandhisaxe
Summary: Baby Pear is the youngest of all of their cousins. This leads to them being practically exempt from trouble. (They also have the biggest heart.)
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Everybody Lives & Nobody Dies [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887784
Comments: 26
Kudos: 90





	1. baby pear wants cuddles/ice cream, all day every day

**Author's Note:**

> Baby Pear is FOUR in this particular chapter. That may change depending on the chapter - make sure to check the notes!

Peregrine Atlas Milton was known for many things, but subtlety was not one of them. There they stood outside a closed door, knocking repeatedly, over, and over, and over. They could hear a shuffling inside, and then the door was opening. 

"Baby Pear?" Ben muttered, rubbing at his eyes. "Honey, it's four in the morning. Is everything alright?" 

Peregrine let out a whine of frustration, arms lifting, the universal sign for  _ up, please _ . Ben, the great uncle he was, immediately scooped them up and into his embrace, one of the child's hands immediately pressing to his cheek. It was their  _ thing _ . None of them questioned it at that point. 

"Sleep?" Peregrine whispered, tucking their face against his neck, yawning. "Uncle Dee? Uncle Kay? Sleep?" 

"Yeah, we were all sleeping. Do you want to come bunk with us for a few more hours?" Ben asked softly, hand rubbing up and down their back. Peregrine nodded, letting their eyes shut, as Ben moved back into the room and shutting the door. He was forever grateful that he slept smack-dab in the center of the bed, and he crawled back up to settle between Diego and Klaus, both still sleeping, Peregrine still cuddled up to him. 

"Ben?" Diego grumbled, curling up to his back. "You 'kay?" 

"Yeah, baby, go back to sleep," Ben reassured softly. "Just Baby Pear wanting to hang." 

Diego reached over Ben to pat at Peregrine's head before grabbing at Klaus' hand, letting his eyes close again. "Baby Pear always wants to hang. Gotta respect it." And then he dozed off again, easy, into sleep, snoring against the back of Ben's neck. 

Peregrine, after a few more moments, turned to shove against Klaus's chest, already nearly asleep. Ben smiled and let his eyes close, drifting off. 

~

They were  _ tired _ . Tired and grumpy and  _ bored _ , splayed out across the floor of the main hallway. The wood was cooler than the rest of the house. They refused to get dressed.  _ Refused _ . It was too hot in the house, even hotter outside, and they were done with it.  _ Done _ . Peregrine let out a noise of pure frustration, sitting up and rubbing at their sky blue eyes. 

"Baby Pear, come in the kitchen!" 

They pushed up off the ground and made their way towards the kitchen, where Klaus was settled in the breakfast nook, gallon of chocolate ice cream in front of him, two spoons in hand. "I know you're a grumpy bumpkin," he said, "but you and I can have ice cream for lunch, if you're interested." 

Peregrine nodded immediately, clambering up and into the booth, letting Klaus pull them up and onto his lap. 

"Now listen, Baby Pear, this is  _ very  _ important. This is a one time thing, because I think your Daddy would kill me if this became a regular occurence." 

Peregrine thought for a moment before nodding, digging their spoon into the ice cream eagerly. Klaus ended up having to help, at least with the first scoop, but then they were sitting there, Peregrine leaned back to his chest, eventually dropping their spoon and curling up, falling asleep. Their cheeks and chin were covered in ice cream, but Klaus didn't mind. 

When Luther walked in, Peregrine was, thankfully, clean. Clean and still sprawled out against Klaus' chest, snoring. The ice cream was tucked back in the freezer, and Klaus was… doing watercolor? 

"How do you even do that while holding the gremlin?" Luther asked, moving to grab the orange juice. 

"Very carefully," Klaus admitted. "Hey, when is the AC guy gonna be here?" 

"He's already here. Should be done by the time Five and Ben get home," Luther replied. 

"Thank  _ god _ ." 

Baby Pear jerked awake at the noise and let out a whine, pushing away from Klaus, scooting backwards out of the booth. (Being four years old is  _ hard _ .) They immediately ambled over to Luther, who lifted them easily. 

"Did you have any lunch?" Luther asked them. 

Peregrine nodded. "Chocolate ice cream!" they replied happily, still blinking away the sleepies. 

Luther's brow furrowed, and he looked at Klaus. "You gave them ice cream for lunch?" he asked. 

"Baby Pear, that was supposed to be a secret!" Klaus said. 

"Fuck. I gave them ice cream this morning for breakfast too," Luther grumbled. 

"Wait,  _ what _ ?" 

Vanya, who had just arrived home from teaching a class of five ten-year-olds, leaned against the doorframe. "So what you're saying," she started, Luther and Klaus immediately looking at her with wide eyes, "is that my child has eaten nothing but ice cream today?" 

Peregrine kicked until Luther set them down, and they raced over to Vanya, who scooped them up, Peregrine pressing hands to her cheeks. "Mommy!" they breathed out, giggling. 

"Hi Perry," Vanya said softly, shifting them until they settled on her hip. "So. Ice cream? Really?" 

"They're very convincing, Vee," Luther said quickly. 

"And the house is so hot, I figured they deserved a treat!" Klaus added. 

Vanya rolled her eyes but did smile, eyes finally shifting back to Peregrine. "You, little chaos demon," she said, and Peregrine smiled, "do you want to play in the wading pool? Your cousins should be home from school soon." 

"Swimming?" Peregrine asked, and Vanya nodded. "Daddy?" 

"He won't be home for a while. But maybe, if you ask nicely when he does get home, he'll take you in the big pool. If not him, maybe Uncle Ben. Okay?" Peregrine nodded. "Good. You come upstairs with me then, we'll get your swimsuit on. Say buh-bye to your uncles." 

"Buh-bye Uncle Kay! Buh-bye Uncle Lu!" Peregrine squeaked out, running from the room and towards the stairs. Vanya followed after them, violin case in hand.


	2. a science experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison and Luther's twin boys, Greg and Sammy, recruit Baby Pear for a science experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GREG AND SAMMY - 10 years old  
> BABY PEAR - 4 years old   
> MARI - 16 years old 
> 
> Enjoy <3

As one of nine kids in the house, and as the youngest, Peregrine knew their place. They were the  _ baby _ \- their dad said that was why they were able to get away with everything. But Peregrine tried, at least sometimes, to use that power for good. This came in especially handy when it came to pranks of any caliber. 

"Baby Pear, c'mere!" 

Peregrine looked up from their math workbook and shoved their glasses up their nose. Greg and Sammy, twin terrors, were standing in the doorway of the corner office, motioning for Peregrine to come to them. "I'm doin' my math!" They said, sticking out their tongue. "Go 'way!" 

Greg groaned and quickly poked his head around the door, checking to make sure there was no one else in the room. "Pear, we're gonna do something super cool. Uh, science experiment? You wanna come?" Greg talked the same way as Aunt Allison - with the utmost self confidence. Peregrine liked that. "You can write about it in your science journal, if you want!" 

That was tempting. Everyone knew how much Peregrine liked a good science experiment. They looked at their workbook: there were four problems left on the page, but they had done the first twenty-one problems. Four problems wouldn't take them very long at all: they could finish it before their dad came home from work. 

(Besides, dad always said Peregrine didn't have to do their math if they didn't want to. It wasn't a requirement. He always stressed that to them, like it was the most important thing in the world. dad was a good dad, the  _ best  _ dad.) 

"Fine," Peregrine said, scooting off of their chair and walking over to the low bookshelf, moving around notebooks and pencils until they found their science journal and collection of multicolored pens, alongside the folded up ruler. 

Greg and Sammy led them to the top of the winding staircase, where there was already a collection of buckets, each filled with a different substance.  _ Oh no _ . "You know how many times our family members walk through the foyer doorway every day, Baby Pear?" Sammy asked, pushing up the sleeves of his sweater. "Me neither. That's what we're going to find out." 

"You should stand on the stairs so you can properly time it, Pear," Greg commented. "We'll tip the buckets." 

Peregrine nodded. The first landing was the  _ perfect _ spot to watch the action. There was even a stool there that they could sit on. 

Victim? Marisol Hargreeves. Mari was the oldest of the cousins, the oldest of the trio's brood of adopted children ( _please pray for Ben, Klaus, and Diego - they're not dead, but raising five kids? they need it_ ), and had turned sixteen three weeks prior. She had been blabbing about her driver's license since. Peregrine loved Mari, even if she was a meanie sometimes. 

So when they heard her voice coming down the hallway, Peregrine signaled up to them. The three of them were  _ ready _ . She was on the phone. "Anyways, Cappie, I was just saying that… hey, what are you little shits doing?" 

It was dyed water in the first bucket, from what Peregrine could guess. The second bucket took them a second, but then they realized: chocolate pudding. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. The water hit Mari first, hitting her dark hair and splattering everywhere. And then it was the pudding, thick and viscous. It made Peregrine squeak with laughter, scribbling the times down, looking from their watch to Mari, again and again. What a  _ sight _ . 

"I am gonna kill you!" Mari screamed, looking up at them. "You can run, but you can't  _ fucking _ hide!" 

"Mari, what's going on?" Oh no.  _ Oh no _ . When Uncle Diego walked through into the foyer, the twins tipped the next two buckets, and seconds later, he was absolutely covered in gravy. Where had they found that much gravy? He looked up, saw Greg and Sammy, and his dark eyes narrowed. "Twins!"

"Oh no, run!" Sammy said, taking off down the hallway, Greg following after him. 

Peregrine stayed put. There was so much to consider, and they oh-so-carefully used the ruler to draw the graph lines so they could chart the times. They didn't even notice Uncle Diego coming to a stop behind them. 

"Baby Pear…" Diego said, and Peregrine turned, smiling up at him. "Were you a part of this, hm?" 

Peregrine shrugged, turning the journal around so he could see. "Velocity!" they whispered excitedly, tapping the page twice. "Experiment!" 

Diego let out a sigh. He looked funny, all covered in gravy. "Baby Pear, don't you think it might have been a better idea to ask for, uh, volunteers for your experiment? Instead of just dumping things on people?" Peregrine's face fell. "Now you know that we would never take away your passions. But you need to be respectful to other people, right?" They nodded slowly. "So what do you think you have to say to Mari and I?" 

Peregrine leaned over to look down at Mari, who was wiping pudding off the screen of her phone. "Sorry Mari," they called out softly, bottom lip quivering. "You 'kay?" 

Mari looked up, face angry, but it smoothed out quickly. "Yeah, Baby Pear, I'm okay. Just remember what my Papi said for any future experiments, yeah?" Peregrine nodded, holding the stair railing in two small hands. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up. Hey, you wanna go swimming with me later? I found your floaties!" 

"Yes pwease!" 

"Okay!" 

Peregrine turned then to look at their uncle. "I'm sorry, Uncle Dee," they said. 

Diego leaned over to press a kiss to Peregrine's forehead, thankfully gravy-free. "I accept your apology. But you will need to help the twins clean up after I find them, alright?" They nodded, watching as he started going back up the stairs, probably eager for a shower, and to find out where the twins were hiding. 

~

Once the twins had been found, each having apologized for their bucket-tipping and the fact that they ran away, Peregrine helped them clean up the foyer. Diego ended up helping them as well, making sure it was mess-free, hardwood shiny and clean, and smelling slightly of lemon. Then Peregrine was taken out into the backyard with Mari, sunblock slathered on, sparkly green floaties pushed up their arms. 

"I like that you're so into your science experiments, Pear," Mari admitted as they floated, "but you remind me so much of Uncle Fiver sometimes. Auntie Allison says the resemblance is uncanny. Do you know what that means?" 

"Strange," Peregrine replied softly, "a mystery." 

"Exactly. It's like Uncle Fiver cloned himself, but you look so much like Auntie Vee too." 

Peregrine heard such words often. They didn't mind. They had the best parents in the whole world. "Best," they said, turning over to kick at the water until they could grab at Mari. "All done?" 

"You're all done? Okay." 

Wrapped up in a large towel, Peregrine dozed off on one of the patio chairs under the large outdoor umbrella, snuffling softly, all tuckered out. Allison, after faithfully watering her flower garden, lifted the sleeping child and brought them inside. It was always a little strange, to wake up inside after falling asleep out in the summer warmth, but it was their mom who was waking them carefully. 

"Hey," Vanya said, smiling, pushing dark strands of hair behind their ears, "let's go get a shower before dinner, yeah?" Peregrine nodded, reaching up for her, relaxing upon being held. 

They liked the care their mom took with washing their hair and cleaning behind their ears. They also loved the hair dryer, and getting all cozy in their pajamas and fuzzy socks, and helping Vanya put moisturizer on her face. 

Wednesday night dinners was always up to Klaus. His dinners were always a little out there. (But without fail, he always,  _ always _ , made a bowl of buttery garlic mashed potatoes for Peregrine.) Peregrine had food issues and eating issues, but they would never turn down mashed potatoes, especially if they were made by Uncle Klaus. He always made them with a perfect amount of garlic. 

Wednesday night dinner was squid. Squid and rice and vegetables, and just the thought of eating the ocean creature made Peregrine tear up, hiding their face against Vanya's shoulder. "I promise they weren't in pain," Uncle Klaus reassured them, "it happened very quickly." 

They were just happy to have their potatoes. They managed just fine sitting on Uncle Luther's lap with their purple bowl and spoon, listening as their cousins chattered. Five and Ben weren't home - it was a late research night for them - so there, thankfully, wasn't any debating at the table. Not that Peregrine would have minded. 

After dinner was shower time for their cousins before family movie night, and then Peregrine fell asleep curled against Allison's chest, one hand pressed to her cheek, snoring against her shoulder. 

When Peregrine woke again, it was to Vanya carrying them upstairs, soothing them carefully. "Mama," they said sleepily, "sleep in your bed." 

"Okay bumblebee," Vanya said, smiling against their hair. "Let's get those teeth brushed." 

Peregrine sat on the counter as Vanya helped them scrub at their teeth. The toothpaste tasted like fake strawberry - gross! They swished out their mouth with water from their special cup, and then they were settled in the center of the large bed with their precious stuffie, Carmichael the elephant. Carmichael had been a present from Grandpa Pogo on the day they were born, and while they tried not to take it  _ everywhere  _ with them, it was much needed at nighttime to fall asleep. 

"Mama," they said, "science journal for Daddy?" 

Vanya nodded. "I'll go grab it and put it on his nightstand, alright?" Peregrine nodded. "Okay. You get cozy with Carmichael. Do you want me to grab you a book or two?" 

"Yes, please." 

That was how Peregrine ended their night: curled up next to their mom, reading through their favorite three books, eventually falling asleep against Vanya's side, soft and quiet. Vanya, who had never expected to be a mom, loved it. She loved  _ all  _ of it. She had only ever anticipated loving Five with her whole heart, but when Peregrine had arrived on that snowy night four years prior? Everything had changed. 

~

Five and Ben arrived home late. It was past eleven, and after seeing the remnants of dinner, they were glad they had grabbed subs on the way back to the large house. 

"I'm sleeping in tomorrow," Ben grumbled, "don't even care." 

They were taking Thursday off. They had decided upon leaving the lab that it was fucking necessary, especially after the long,  _ long _ day they had. At least Five was able to teleport them back. 

"I'm sure I'll see you at breakfast," Five replied with a small smile. They knew each other too well. "Goodnight, Bentacles." 

"Goodnight, Fiver." 

When Five teleported into the bedroom, he wasn't surprised to see Vanya already fast asleep. Her lamp was still on - she must have been reading. But there, tucked up beside her, was a fast asleep Peregrine Atlas, body curled up around Carmichael the elephant. 

He was so ready to go to sleep himself, but he had to shower off the day at the lab. It was easy to lose himself in the warm stream of water, yawning every few moments while brushing his teeth. It was easy to pull on flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt he stole from Diego. And it was easy to slide under the covers after turning off Vanya's lamp, kissing her softly before retreating to his own side of the bed. 

Peregrine's science journal was on his nightstand. Tired as he was, Five couldn't resist. His child could weave a tale. Five had to teleport downstairs to the den so he could laugh in peace, reading through Peregrine's observations on gravity and velocity. 

"Daddy - 

I said sorry to Uncle Dee and Mari, 

but that is not the most important part 

of this experiment," 

he read aloud to himself, 

"What's important is that we know, 

per this experiment, that gravy travels 

faster through space than water. 

Important knowledge. 

I love you,

Peregrine" 

He was so lucky. Back upstairs, tucked once again into bed, he wrote a note of his own. 

"Peregrine - 

Fantastic work today. 

I cannot wait to see what 

you do next. 

Love, Dad" 

Ready then for sleep, he turned off his own light and tugged up the covers, smiling when Peregrine drifted immediately towards him, cuddling to his chest, making themself small. Yeah, he was damn lucky. 


	3. baby pear is sick :(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Pear gets sick for the first time EVER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peregrine is THREE 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Everything hurt. The sky was still  _ dark dark dark  _ outside, and their bed, usually so warm and cozy, was cold. Why was Peregrine so cold? They sniffled and reached up to rub at their eyes, and when they curled back up beneath the piles of blankets, it was a little warmer. Everything was still fuzzy and rough around the edges, but they were able to fall back asleep eventually. 

~

Someone was crying. Ben, on his second cup of coffee, blinked up at the kitchen ceiling, confused. It was early - very early. The older kids had just left for school with Diego and Klaus, and Ben, having decided to work from home for the day, was the only grown-up left in the house. 

Vanya? A set of four hour-block violin lessons at the music school. Five? Taking advantage of the science library at the university for research purposes. Allison? Audition in the city. And Luther? Clients waiting for him at the gym. 

Which meant one thing and one thing only: something was wrong with Baby Pear. Later, Ben would not be able to explain just how quickly he moved up the stairs to the second floor, quickly moving down the hall to their night sky painted door. Peregrine was sitting up in bed, sobbing, cheeks flushed red. 

"Hey, sh, it's alright," Ben soothed, moving forward to lift them. The child was radiating heat, and he pressed the back of his hand to their forehead, wincing. "Baby Pear, we knew you had to get sick eventually, huh?" It was then that Peregrine promptly vomited all over the front of Ben's sleep shirt, their own pajamas, and the wood floor. "Oh shit." 

A few minutes later they were standing under the stream of lukewarm water together in the shower, Peregrine sniffling against Ben's shoulder as he tried his best to wash their wriggly body. Thankfully his shark-bite swim trunks had been right where he left them (drying in the trio master bathroom.) They were sick -  _ definitely  _ sick - and Ben was almost positive they had a fever as well. And he was the only one home. 

After using both the underarm thermometer and the forehead thermometer, Ben came to a conclusion: 102.6 degrees.  _ Shit _ . 

Thankfully, he had experience with sick children. The sound of Peregrine's crying made his heart ache, but after wrangling them into a fresh pair of pajamas (forest green, covered in embroidered leaves - a gift from Grace) and setting them up on the couch under a blanket, he was able to get everything cleaned up and get himself into pajamas. It was going to be a  _ long  _ day. 

"Alright little one, how's your tummy?" Ben asked carefully. Peregrine made a noise from where their nose was pressed to Ben's neck. "Do you think a popsicle would help?" When they nodded, Ben headed towards the kitchen. They always kept popsicles in the house - Peregrine's picky eating behaviors knew no bounds - and they did appear much happier when they were sitting on the counter with a strawberry popsicle, leaned back against the cabinets. "I have to call your Mom and Dad, okay?" 

"Okay," Peregrine mumbled. 

Ben took the phone off the hook and dialed the familiar number for the science library. It rang twice. 

" _ Hello _ ,  _ you've reached the City University Science Library. How can I assist you? _ " 

"Hey Penny, this is Dr. Hargreeves. Is Dr. Milton there?" Ben asked. 

" _ Oh hi sir! Yes, he is. Would you like me to get him for you? _ " 

"No, it's alright. Can you just let him know that Peregrine is sick and to get home whenever he can?" Ben replied. 

" _ Will do, right away. Is that all? _ "

"That's all Penny, thank you." Ben hung up, and then he was dialing the number from the pad next to the phone, for the music academy. He went through the same song and dance with the receptionist there, leaving a message for Vanya. When Peregrine began to fuss, popsicle gone, Ben walked over to lift them up, wiping their hands and face without thought. "How about we… watch a movie? Whatever movie you want, alright cupcake?" Peregrine nodded slowly, reaching up for him. "But first, I'm gonna need you to take some medicine for me. Can you do that?" 

The Tylenol bottle said it was supposed to taste like cherry, but Peregrine disagreed. After swallowing from the syringe, they burst into tears again, because it was  _ gross _ . Being held by their uncle helped a little, as they sniffled and whined against his shoulder. Peregrine chose  _ Howl's Moving Castle _ and stationed themself sprawled out across Ben's chest, one of Klaus' knitted blankets tucked around them. 

Twenty minutes later, a blue flash of light and static electricity appeared in the hallway, and there was Five, looking positively flustered. "Ben?" he called out, dropping his briefcase on the bench, shrugging off his jacket to hang it on the hook. 

"In the den!" Ben called back gently. 

Five stopped behind the couch, looking down at them, and smiled nervously. "Hey, what's going on?" 

"Baby Pear puked all over me. It was gross." Ben replied, hand still rubbing up and down Peregrine's back as they watched their movie. "Also - fever. 102.6. I just gave them some Tylenol so it should be coming down soon. But I figured you would want to know -"

"Yeah, definitely. Thank you Ben." 

"Go get changed and you can take over, yeah? I called Vee too, but I don't know when she'll be back." 

Five hesitated. "You'll stay right? Peregrine's never been sick before, I don't -" 

"Of course, dumbass. Go - put on some pajamas. We'll wait here." 

Peregrine didn't even notice that Five was home until he walked back into the den in his pajamas, and then they were scrubbing at their eyes and reaching up for him, saying a sleepy chant of " _ dad dad dad dad _ " on repeat until they were lifted into his arms. They pressed a hand to his scruffy cheek and relaxed against him. 

"Uncle Ben said you're not feeling well," Five said gently, sinking onto one end of the couch and pushing a few strands of dark hair away from their face. "Did you puke?" Peregrine nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Peregrine. Puking is scary, huh?" They nodded again. "Does your stomach still hurt?" Peregrine thought for a moment before nodding one final time, tucking themself close to him, making grabby hands for their blanket. Ben let out a laugh and draped it over them. 

"You want some coffee?" Ben asked. 

" _ Please _ ," Five replied. It was kind of nice to just relax on the couch with his kid, soothing Peregrine whenever they fussed or tried to get comfortable. He didn't often award himself time off - he liked his job. He liked that he was able to work with Ben every day. But there were some times that he missed being there for Vanya and Peregrine. Definitely something to think about. 

When Five had his coffee, Ben with a fresh cup of his own, they allowed themselves to relax, finally. Peregrine fell back asleep, snoring. It was nice. 

Until it wasn't. 

Ben recognized, very quickly, the sound of a child gagging. He turned to grab the bucket and moved Peregrine so they could puke right into the bucket. Five looked absolutely horrified. When they had finally finished, they were sobbing again. 

"I'll get them cleaned up," Five said, carrying them towards the downstairs bathroom. 

It was going to be a long day. 

~

Vanya could admit she was panicking. Peregrine had never been sick before - never even so much as a cold. She wondered how bad it was - the message the receptionist gave her was vague. When she pulled into her spot in front of the house, she had to wait a moment, just breathing, before she grabbed her bag and her violin and headed inside. 

Ben and Five were in the kitchen with Peregrine when she walked in, having dropped everything on the bench. 

"Hey," Ben said, smiling at her. 

"Hey," Vanya replied, immediately walking over to take Peregrine from Five, who seemed reluctant to let the child go. "What's going on? Sorry it took me so long to get back." 

Five leaned back against the counter and sighed. "Fever and puking. They've puked… four times today?" He guessed, looking at Ben, who nodded. "I think we've just gotta ride it out." 

Vanya nodded. "Why are they undressed?" she asked. 

"Just puked all over their jammies again." Ben replied. "I started a load of laundry with all the sick stuff inside." 

"Do you wanna come take a shower with Mommy?" She asked Peregrine, who was awake and blinking. Peregrine nodded. They liked showers. "We'll be back in a few." 

Five felt finally able to relax, knowing his kid was with Vanya, their mom. He held out his empty mug and Ben filled it again with coffee, passing it back to him. "This is exhausting," Five said, "how do you guys do it? You have five kids."

Ben shrugged, pouring his own cup of coffee. "It helps that there are three of us. And… we have you guys. Remember when Lolly got sick the first time after we brought her home? You were a huge help." Five smiled. "It's different when it's your own kid. Definitely harder. But it doesn't last forever. Baby Pear will be fine." 

"It's hard to watch them like this." Five admitted. 

"I know. Especially since… well, Baby Pear is just like you. You never handled being sick very well when we were kids. I can't imagine it's very easy to watch your carbon copy vomit up stomach acid, Fiver," Ben explained. "But remember that you have us. Allison and Luther should both be home soon. The kids will be back too. We've got this. Family-style, alright?" 

Five nodded, reaching out to return the fist bump. "You're right. I hate watching them puke. Puking sucks." 

"We've got this." 

~

When the big kids got home from school, Diego and Klaus following up the rear, they were very confused to find everyone gathered inside the den, the only light in the room that from the twinkling fairy lights, watching  _ Spirited Away _ . 

"What's going on?" Klaus asked softly, leaning against the back of the armchair where Ben sat. 

"Baby Pear has the stomach flu," Ben replied. 

"Oh no," Diego voiced. Peregrine moved up against the back of the couch and reached for him, whining. Diego immediately lifted them up, settling them on his hip. "Gross. I'm sorry, pumpkin. Fever and stuff?" 

"Got up to 102.6 this morning," Five said. "But it's been pretty stable with fever reducer." 

"Poor little one," Klaus said, pressing a kiss to Peregrine's forehead. "You're going to get  _ so many  _ garlic mashed potatoes once you're feeling better, but for now, I'm going to get started on the fixer upper soup." Fixer upper soup was a Klaus creation. It always made a sick family member feel better. "You wanna come to the kitchen with me? Maybe some dry toast?"

Peregrine, surprisingly hungry, nodded, and allowed themself to be passed to Klaus. "Buh-bye Daddy, buh-bye Mama," they croaked out, waving to the group on the couch as Klaus carried them from the room. 

"God they're cute," Luther said, arm slung over Allison's shoulder. "Even when they're sick." 

"I was starting to think they were immune from all illness, to be honest," Allison added. 

"Me too," Vanya agreed. "But here we are." 

In the kitchen, Klaus had recruited Harlowe (the trio's second oldest child) and Sarah (Allison's and Luther's oldest) to help chop vegetables for the soup, rinsing the rice while Peregrine ate another popsicle, raspberry flavor, post-toast.

"Yours will mostly be broth and rice, little one, I promise," Klaus reassured them, "I know how you feel about mushy vegetables. Maybe some celery though?" Peregrine nodded, sleepy smile covered in raspberry juice. "Good. Celery is good for you, I promise." 

Harlowe, chef hat tugged over his ginger curls, immediately grabbed a baby wipe and cleaned up Peregrine's face and hands. "You're all messy, Baby Pear," he said. Thirteen years old, he could admit that Peregrine was his favorite cousin. They were quiet and studious and always down for a cuddle. "Do you want to get down?" Peregrine rubbed at their eyes. "You want me to take you back in the den?" 

"I've got it, Lowe, but thank you for being such a helper," Klaus said, leaning over to kiss his freckled forehead before scooping Peregrine up, making them squeak, and heading back out of the kitchen. 

"Can you believe Baby Pear got sick?" Sarah whispered hurriedly to Harlowe, dumping the cut carrots into the large pot. "My Mom said they were throwing up all day." 

Harlowe frowned. "That sucks. Maybe we should make them a card or something before dinner? To make them feel better?" 

"Yeah, totally! I'll go tell Mari to rally the troops!" Sarah set down her knife, untied her apron, and ran from the room. 

The adults were almost positive the throwing up was done, thank goodness. Peregrine had been given another dose of fever reducer and promptly fallen asleep against Luther's chest, curled up in a blanket burrito, thumb tucked in their mouth. 

"You want me to take them?" Five asked. 

"No way, I missed gremlin cuddles today," Luther said gruffly, letting his own head tip back, eyes fluttering shut. 

Vanya reached out to take Five's hand, intertwining their fingers. "We'll wake them for soup later," she said, tugging him closer until they could curl up against each other. "You okay?" 

Five nodded. "Just worried. This is hard." 

"Yeah it is." Vanya ran her fingers back into his messy hair and scratched as his scalp, watching as his eyes fluttered shut. She moved forward to kiss him gently, and when he smiled against her mouth, she had to smile too. 

~

Peregrine was starving. Once they were seated in their booster seat between Five and Vanya, they whined and motioned to the pot of soup in the center of the table, kicking their feet, looking between their mom and dad. 

"Hey, Baby P," Diego said, getting their attention, "use your words please." 

Peregrine nodded. "Soup pwease," they said softly. Sometimes talking made them nervous, but they felt better when Diego smiled at them, and handed their bowl to Klaus to fill with soup. 

"It's hot," Klaus said, "do you want some saltines?" Peregrine nodded, accepting a stack of them and setting them carefully on the tablecloth. "Now, do not eat this soup until your Dad says it's alright, yeah?" Peregrine nodded again, carefully pulling the saltine stack away from the steaming bowl. 

Zoom poked at Five's arm to get his attention. Despite being adopted from the foster system, he was almost identical to Diego. "We made Baby Pear get better cards," he whispered, "for after dinner. Is that okay?" 

"That was very kind of you," Five whispered back, smiling, "I'm sure Peregrine will appreciate them. Are you the delivery man, or…?"

Zoom shook his head. "No, Mari has them. I think she'll do the delivery." 

"Okay," Five replied, ruffling the boy's dark hair before turning back to Peregrine, who was chomping on their saltines. "You good, honey?" 

Peregrine blinked in surprise at the pet name but nodded, leaning into their dad's chest and yawning. After a bowl of soup - and listening to their familiar family chatter - they passed out in Vanya's lap, all clean, fever gone. 

"The soup always does the trick," Ben said, leaning over to kiss Klaus, who pulled away laughing, settling against Diego's side. 

Lolly stuck out her tongue. "You guys are gross," she said honestly, the others nodding in agreement.

~

Later then, in bed, stack of homemade "get better soon" cards on the nightstand, fast asleep Peregrine tucked between them, Five turned on his side to look at Vanya. 

"Have you ever thought about us having another one?" he asked. 

Vanya's eyes went wide, and she lowered her book to look at him. "Is that a trick question?" she asked. He shook his head. "Of course I have. But... we're busy. I just don't know if..." 

"I think I want to be home with Peregrine more," Five said carefully, heart pounding in his chest. "I can do research here, it's why we have the corner office. I feel like I hardly get to see them anymore." 

Vanya closed her book, sliding it onto her own nightstand, and turned on her side to look at him. "I was thinking... if we had another baby, maybe I could cut down the lessons I give. Even if we don't, I... I want to be home more too." 

He grinned at her. "So you do want another baby?" 

"I didn't say _that_." 

"Baby," Peregrine grumbled out, tucking up to Vanya's chest, sniffling, obviously still asleep. 

Five shrugged. "Something to think about?" 

"Something to think about," Vanya agreed. "I love you." 

"I love you too. Both of you." Five moved to kiss the back of Peregrine's head, and then kissed Vanya deeply. She tasted like home. 


	4. out of town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Five leave for a conference. Baby Pear is sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so amazed at how much y'all love Baby Pear! Peregrine is very much me as a child, and writing about them makes me so happy. 
> 
> Enjoy. Xx

The night sky was completely soaked up with stars, and Peregrine couldn't tear their eyes from them. The moon was bright overhead, half-covered by the trees in the side yard, and they had been curled up on the window seat since the sun had set, nighttime routine already over and done with. Their dark hair was dry and messy, their favorite astronaut pajamas on, and they had asked (very quietly) if Aunt Allison could wrap them up in their blanket. (She had agreed.) 

The window seat in Allison and Luther's room was Peregrine's favorite, and since they were already planning to watch a movie that night, they didn't mind if the youngest kid in the house hung out for a while. But the movie was over, and it was getting late. 

"Baby Pear?" Allison said softly, waiting for them to turn and blink at her. "It's about time for bed, little one. Ready to go see Mommy and brush your teeth?" 

Peregrine rolled out of the blanket and stretched, yawning. They shuffled over to Luther's side of the bed and waited for him to lean over so they could kiss his cheek. "Ni-ni Uncle Lu," they mumbled, scrubbing at their eyes. 

"Goodnight gremlin," Luther replied with a smile. "Sweet dreams." 

Allison took their hand then and walked with them down the hall, towards where Five and Vanya's bedroom door was propped open. Vanya was sat at her spot on the bed, reading glasses sliding down her nose, book open in front of her. 

"Brought you a monkey," Allison called out, and Vanya looked up, smiling, "special delivery!" 

"Thank you Alli," Vanya said, setting aside her book just in time for Peregrine to crawl up onto the bed and into her arms. "What do you say, Perry?" 

Peregrine turned to grin at Allison. "Ni-ni Auntie Alli," they said. 

"Goodnight little one. Night Vee!" Allison rapped her knuckles against the doorframe, blew Peregrine a kiss, and then moved back down the hallway. 

Peregrine spent a few long moments just lying pressed tight to Vanya's chest, blinking slowly. "When will Daddy be home?" they finally asked, and Vanya pressed her cheek to their hair, letting out a sigh. "Soon?" 

"Two more days," Vanya replied. "I know you miss him." 

Miss wasn't the proper word. When everyone in the house joked that Peregrine was just a  _ Mini Five _ , they weren't kidding. Peregrine felt like they were  _ mourning  _ \- their best friend was half a world away at a conference with Uncle Ben, and they had been gone  _ ages  _ (three days). And Peregrine understood that Daddy was busy (but only a phone call away), but that didn't matter. The world felt a little emptier without him there. (And Peregrine missed Uncle Ben too.) 

"Love him," Peregrine muttered. 

"I love him too," Vanya said, smiling, "and I love  _ you _ ." 

"Love you too," they said. "Brush teeth now?" 

"Yeah, squirt, good idea." 

Mother and child stood side by side at the sink in the bathroom, making faces at each other in mirror, and eventually, Peregrine rinsed out their mouth and ran back to the bed, diving beneath the covers. 

"Staying in here tonight?" Vanya asked. 

"Don't want you to be alone," Peregrine responded, settling against the stack of pillows. "Okay?" 

"Of course, monkey." Vanya slid under the blankets and stilled so Peregrine could settle against her side, curling up. "You want me to read until you fall asleep?" 

"Yes, please," they said. 

It didn't take long for them to fall asleep, admittedly - Peregrine had been falling asleep to the sound of their Mom or Dad reading aloud for as long as they could remember. Vanya spent a few minutes just looking at Peregrine's face, smiling, pushing dark hair away from their eyes after carefully sliding off their wire-rimmed glasses. And then, sleep taking over, Vanya switched off the light and pulled Peregrine closer. 

~

In a hotel room in Berlin, it was two in the morning, and Five couldn't sleep. It had been a long time since Five had to sleep alone - it had been a long time since he had been away from home longer than a simple day trip. He and Ben had only just arrived back at the hotel at midnight after obligatory dinner and drinks with their research team, and he was exhausted, but sleep refused to come. 

"Close your eyes and try to sleep, Five," Ben whined from his own bed. "I can hear you brooding from over here." 

Five sighed and turned on his side, holding the pillow to his chest. "Sorry," he grumbled. 

Ben felt bad then. He turned on his side and blinked at the bed opposite his own. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked. 

"... yes." 

"What's up, Fiver?" 

Five scooted until he was closer to the edge of the bed. "These sheets smell weird," he said, "I like that laundry detergent that Klaus buys. And this is going to sound ridiculous, but I never thought about how hard it would be to sleep without hearing Vee breathing, you know? I can't remember the last time I had to sleep in a bed without her." 

Ben made a noise of acknowledgment. "I get it. I'm the same way - it's weird without Klaus and Diego. You know I sleep in the middle, so it's really difficult to sleep alone. And we still have kiddos that sneak in sometimes too - Mack and Zoom, sometimes Lolly. And Baby Pear, of course." 

"Shit, I miss Peregrine so much," Five breathed out. 

"I'm sure they'll have a bunch of science experiments for you to read about when we get back," Ben replied. "But yeah, I miss them too. All the kids really. Working from home has been so nice the past couple of months, with all the  _ noise _ ." 

"This room is too quiet," FIve said, eyes beginning to slip shut, "I can't wait to go home." 

"Same here, Fiver. Same here." 

~

Peregrine was sat at the short table in the corner office, and their stack of workbooks was pushed up against the wall, pencils perfectly sharpened. Uncle Diego was working at the larger desk, looking through stacks of files that he had brought home from work, squinting at the small type, tapping the end of a pen against his mouth. 

"You're supposed to have your glasses on when you're reading, Uncle Dee," Peregrine said softly. "Uncle Ben says so." 

Diego looked up and smiled at them. "You're right. I'm gonna go grab them quick, okay?" 

Peregrine nodded, smiling back at him before turning back to their vocabulary work. Technically it was a maintenance day for the school - which was why Uncle Diego was home but Uncle Klaus was  _ not _ \- but Peregrine didn't go to physical schooling with the big kids. 

Vanya and Five had talked a lot about what they wanted for Peregrine, and then they had  _ asked _ Peregrine what they wanted. They had decided very quickly that they wanted to do homeschooling. Or  _ unschooling, _ because they learned a little bit of everything from everyone in the house. They did still do book work, because Peregrine  _ loved  _ book work, but they also did so many other cool things. 

"Hey Baby Pear, come downstairs with me for a minute," Diego called from the hallway, "I need a helper." 

Peregrine jumped up eagerly, letting the pencil drop from their fingers before darting out into the hallway, letting Diego scoop them up into a hug. "Carry me?" they asked. 

"Sure thing." 

It wasn't until they were down the winding staircase and in the main hallway that Peregrine realized Uncle Diego was a big fat liar, because standing there was Vanya, who was meant to be at work, and - 

"Daddy!" Peregrine screeched out, kicking at Diego until they were set carefully on the floor, and then they were running, running, running until Five's arms were around them, their face tucked against his neck, and they finally relaxed. "Home!" 

Five smiled and kissed their forehead. "I am home, finally. Did you miss me?" Peregrine nodded, moving one hand up to press to his cheek. "Did you keep Mom safe while I was gone?" 

"Yes!" Peregrine pulled their face back and smiled before falling into a frown. "Never, ever leave again." 

"Oh? Never ever?" he asked. 

"Never. You're not allowed. That's the law." Peregrine said this with finality, reaching out to Vanya too, who moved forward until the child had a hold on each of them. "Right Mama?" 

Vanya let out a laugh but nodded. "Yes, Five, we would both prefer if you never left for five days again. It was a real, real hardship." 

He smirked at her. "Was it?" he asked. 

  
"Yes." Vanya pulled him down into a kiss, soft and sweet, and Peregrine made a grossed-out sound. "We both missed you very, very much." 

Ben, finally walking in from the garage with his travel bag, looked at the three. "Oh trust me, Five missed you too," he piped up. "He was  _ very _ emotional at the hotel."

"I thought we agreed that was a secret,  _ Ben _ ," Five said, cheeks lightly flushed. 

"Love you, little brother," Ben teased, and then Diego was there beside him, pulling him into a hug, holding him close. 

Peregrine felt at peace, finally.  _ Home _ . 


End file.
